Feeling Alone During Deployment

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Feeling alone during deployment with kids, what an ironic phrase. Am I really alone?  No, I am actually rarely alone.  And this is the rub of this deployment thing. I have three kids to manage and a dog, who actually belongs to my husband, but he is not here, is he.  So I never feel alone, yet I always feel alone, yet I am always feeling alone during deployment with kids.

I am feeling alone during deployment with kids in the duty of driving them to and from ballet (4x a week), gymnastics (2x a week), swim team (2x a week), music lessons (1x a week), seminary (2x a week), church youth meetings (1x a week),  allergy shots (1x a week), and horseback riding lessons (1x a week).  I leave a kid alone to do their homework while I am out dealing with a different kid and I hope that the homework is being done.  I arrive home to a dark house with three kids who need dinner after all our lesson and the dog, who has been alone, now wants to play. 

Feeling Alone During Deployment with Kids is Exhausting

It is exhausting, this feeling alone during deployment with kids. I feel like I am barely holding on most of the time.  Before deployment I was not very flexible and during deployment, I am even less so.  Our lives need to run like clockwork because it is already more than I can handle so any cog thrown in the wheel will do me in!  Heaven forbid I oversleep by 15 min (my alarm goes off at 5:00am, unearthly hour) because then I will not get a shower before I am off to teach yoga three times a day.  At least I am alone in the shower.

Should I take time for some breath retention practice to try to take some control of all these feelings? I am still feeling alone during deployment with kids…

Feeling Alone During Deployment with kids- It’s all for a good reason!

But, this man…..

This man is who I am doing my best to support.  Yes, I probably whine to him more than I should and he listens with patience (the benefits of being married to a social worker.)  I am proud of him as the Director of Operations on the base and I get more proud when I can hear the excitement in his voice as he details what he is learning and the opportunities he is having. 

I know that this is a growing experience for all of us. I rely more on my kids to help out so that I do not feel so alone in my daily duties and decisions. I rely on FaceTime to run my feelings and concerns by Josh. I rely on yoga to help me to remember to breathe and stretch out my stress. I rely more on the Lord to make the difference and I am never truly alone.

Are you in preparing for a deployment or in the midst of one?  Get my Top 10 List for Surviving Deployment!